mint tea and slivers

my heart heavy

weighted 

with a love 

i was not yet strong enough

 to hold

all i wanted 

was to grow old with you

sip mint tea

 under the stars

swing on the porch

listening to the lull of the cars

 on the highway

smiling

reminiscing

 about moons that waned

while our souls rained

childhood dreams

somehow 

while i was carving my heart

 to fit your key

i lost sight of the me

you needed me to be

and so our love grew grey

and drifted away

and what i wanted you to say

was that no matter what

it'd be ok

we'd be ok

but that's not the way it works, is it?

shit happens

vows break

who woulda known

that an innocent mistake

might take us out of the fold of forever

turning a lifelong endeavor

into yesterday's news

i'd like to believe

we choose our fate

that as we grate bone

to fill fleshy fears

tears might bleed us back to clay

i laugh

seriously

who would stay

to wade through knee-deep madness

who would have enough patience

to bear the weight

of static sadness

who wouldn't run

at the first sight of silence

who wouldn't break free

from chains that only stain

sentiments better suited for postcards

alone i stay

collecting shards of half truths

painted just the way i like them

sparkly

sharp

slivers of hope 

that still sting when I breathe

and all i can do is believe

clench fragments of dreams

crazy glue promises we made

to the blades i hone chaos with

wrap myself in your voice

make the choice to sever

to weather the storm inside my gut

and for all but a moment 

of false sanity

not regret stripping myself down bare

and as i prepare to take my leave

careful not to breath

 the dust of my own devastation

without a single moment of hesitation

i walk away

into the darkness of light

no longer willing to fight

for this

eyes closed

as the distance between us grows

i blow you one last kiss

from my heart

so it is

that we must part

start to live again

heal the wounds of want

holding tight to the hope

that one day

we’ll free ourselves

from ego chokeholds

and learn be friends

again

the poetry industry

the poetry industry

where hearts have become commodities 

and pure love is now an oddity

we are the prodigies of our words

begging to be heard

by any soul

that may create the illusion 

of us feeling whole

we seek to fill our man-made voids

relationships

like toys

tinkered with 

and tossed

we seduce our own minds

till all humanity is lost

to the rhythm of delusion 

we succumb 

to intoxicating profusion 

of false gods

our egos 

we stroke 

invoke 

praise

held in a delirious daze

until death 

echoes

instead 

of sharing 

our gifts

we judge

one another

only revealing 

our own 

inadequacies

instead

of giving

our love

we hoard 

haphazardly 

waiting 

to receive

more

we only deceive

ourselves

more

til the shore no longer

reaches the sea

and the lighthouse

fails to be

a beacon

 of hope

but rather

a grey mound

off of which

the sound of regret

echoes

filling souls

 with empty promises

of revival

bittersweet scars

you were never

 really with me

your mind

 always racing

to far off places

the many faces

 of poetic impulse

lured yourself

 into the rabbit hole

where you stole a taste

of someone else's reality

simple love cannot compete

with the bittersweet scars

 we carve with words

when all we long for

is to be heard

reassured

cured

 of violent voids

that bleed marrow

to dust

lacing lament

with the kind of lust

that thrusts us

 into flames

of futility 

yet

 i wait by that hole

peeking in 

reaching in

steeping

into silence

picking

 at the rust

that corrodes

my heart

i start to wonder

if you’re ever coming out

© jd 

the answer

fierce winds blow

sins deep inside

self destructive souls

self loathing minds

to places prayers dare not fold

fantasies fray

where temptation’s sold

scalpers inflate

egos rise

we row our reasons

we know our kind

quick circumcision

of fears that bleed

I’m the only one I’ll ever deceive

tangled tricks

pick up sticks 

a dangerous game

of squandered shame

one wrong move

foundations sway

lose a turn

lose a life

lose yourself in blame

or

simply refuse

to answer his call

that’s his job

to make you fall

to poison your palette 

to blind your ears

to busy your todays

with yesteryears

and

tomorrows

that may never come

and if we busy our todays

on the run

from ourselves

from Truth

from silence

we may never hear

the answer

© 2012

unadulterated beat

he wrapped my bleeding heart

in a fine piece of gauze

gently placed it next to his

and in that breathless pause

between life and death

his heart covered mine

with a delicates skin

his love

clearly sent from the Divine

with one unadulterated beat

my tear stained gauze fell to the floor

our hearts now beat as one

and mine does bleed no more

fluff

fluff

that neat stuff

that turns rough exteriors

into a soft places to rest a while

leaving us feeling a little less inferior

cuz now we’ve got something to cushion the fall